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Question:

My best friend and I liked the same boy for a while now. She ended up in a relationship with him for about two weeks. The boy finally admitted to her that his feelings for me were stronger. My feelings for him were just as strong, but hidden. When their relationship ended, the boy and I began to spend more time together. My best friend and I both understand each other but Iím not positive that she has forgiven me. Prom is coming up soon and I donít want to cause controversy if the boy and me go together. He would be the only person I would want to go there with but at the same time I want everyone to be happy. What should be done?

Answer:

Your question raises several issues to consider. If you have truly asked your best friend for her forgiveness, then it follows that there was a reason you felt you needed to be forgiven. If you have done something wrong, you were right to go to your friend and ask forgiveness, so that you can both be reconciled. (Matthew 5:2-3)

You could also cause your friend to sin as a result of your actions - In this case, going out with a boy you know that she also cares for, and thereby causing your friendís anger (sin). "Therefore, if food causes my brother to stumble, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause my brother to stumble." (Romans 14:21; I Corinthians 10:32; 2 Corinthians 6:3; 11:29) Eating or abstaining from one kind of food, has no affect on our relationship with God, but the apostle cautions against putting a stumbling-block in the way of the weaker person who may think it does. So we sacrifice our desire to eat meat so that our weaker sister will not be tempted to do something she thinks is wrong by following your example. We only want to be examples of love and peace.

With the Spirit of Christ in us, we will love those whom Christ loved so as to die for them. Injuries done to Christians are done to Christ; but most of all, the entangling both in guilt: wounding your or someone elseís conscience is wounding Him. We should be very tender of doing anything that may cause others to stumble, though it may be innocent in itself. If itís done deliberately, (and only you know that), then that would cause you to be sinful as well. We just donít want to stir up arguments, (Matthew 5:22), but live in harmony and love. (I Timothy 11-14)

To love another often takes self-sacrifice. (Genesis 29:20 - Jacob paid with many years of labor working for Rachelís father, just because he loved Rachel so much and wanted her as his wife.) But God bestows blessings on the pure of heart, sacrificing for peace. (Matthew 5:8-9) Even though your friend says she forgives you, you may be experiencing the consequence of sin because you made her angry. (2 Samuel 12:13-14) No matter how miserable guilt makes you feel, or how terribly you have sinned, you can pour out your heart to God and seek forgiveness. There is always forgiveness for us when we sin.

Also, it is not our job to make "everyone happy". We assume tremendous self-reliance when we think that way. We are to depend on God, not our own efforts. Treasure spiritual growth and personal fulfillment and honoring God, centering all your desires on Him (Matthew 6:33). This means to put God first in your life, making Him your primary concern, fill your thoughts with His desires, taking His character as your model while serving and obeying Him in everything.

Friends, boyfriends, prom or other desires, all compete for your attention and priority - Any of these can quickly bump God out of first place, if you donít deliberately choose to give Him first place in every area of your life.

If love seems to demand a high price sometimes, consider the price God paid. (John 3:16) It is not our place to answer this question for you - Pray to your heavenly Father, He will guide you and your heart will know what action you should take about best friends, boyfriends, prom and all the matters in your life.

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