The Reorganization of P.C.T. International
Glenn A. Hascall
The press conference was running late; Bunny McBride sat idly twisting her ring while reading the latest news on her palm pilot. She knew she had to come up with a story fast so she was checking her history and related facts and was compiling her story before Peter showed up to pass along whatever bit of news he thought relevant this year.
A muscle-bound goon was walking up to the microphone, she could see the other reporters jockeying for position and turning on their mini-disc recorders hoping for that perfect sound bite for the next newscast. She even saw a couple of satellite trucks to the west waiting to broadcast live to some of the major networks. This year was a bit different though, fewer news people were making the journey to Coney Way to catch the latest.
McBride had been here before and she watched as the crowd of reporters calmed down after ‘his’ bodyguard checked the microphone, adjusted his glasses and left the stage. Ah, there he was making his way to up the stairs. From hidden speakers came the music strains of, "Eye of the Tiger". McBride smiled at the obvious pageantry, it was almost enough to make a jaded news reporter giggle. Almost.
She turned a few knobs on her recorder, having placed a flat microphone on the podium earlier, and waited for the event to begin.
"Thank you for coming today," Peter greeted the crowd. "P.C.T. International is please to announce a new international distribution method for our annual event."
The crowd murmured, perhaps there would be a story after all.
"For so many years I’ve withstood certain criticism on the delivery, method and type of materials used in the manufacture of our seasonal product. This year we are working around the clock to provide on time delivery. We are also making available, for the first time, editions of our product that contain commemorative keepsakes, as well as special anniversary editions that chronicle the history of our proud tradition. Also, for the first time, I will be working with ten regional representatives whose responsibility will be to make sure that every region of the world is canvassed with our unique gifts," He paused as some of the younger female reporters nearly swooned to be so near someone as important as Peter.
McBride bit her lip as she gazed at Peter, he glanced at her and she was certain that she saw his whiskers twitch. Was he sending her a message?
"In years past we have seen many problems develop from lost or misplaced Easter eggs, we have opted to install miniature GPS devices on all trophies this year so that conscientious parents won’t be finding odorous remnants of our festivities in July. We think this can only serve to strengthen the popularity of this annual event. We would be remiss if we didn’t say that interest has decreased in recent years, especially with the advent of candied eggs and citywide hunts that decry the more traditional method of egg delivery in a more covert manner providing families with whole minutes of hide and seek fun. We are thrilled to be on track once again and thank you for showing your concern by attending today’s news conference. Questions?"
"Why is Easter never on the same date from one year to the next?" one reporter called from the front.
"That is a fine question, this holiday is sometimes referred to as movable," Peter said dismissively.
"Yes, but why?" Bunny called from the back.
Peter visibly relaxed when he heard her voice, "Well, uh, you see it has everything to do with the vernal equinox. Once this event occurs, we wait for the next full moon. When we see the first full moon after the vernal equinox we set Easter for the following Sunday – unless of course this falls on the Jewish festival of Passover, in which case it is always delayed by an extra week."
Most of the news reporters stared blankly at Mr. Cotton-Tail while he stared at Bunny McBride. He cleared his throat while attempting to lighten the mood, "Aren’t you glad it’s already figured out on your calendar?"
The audience chuckled at his attempt at humor.
"You mentioned ten new regional representatives who will help deliver the colorful eggs this year. Can you tell us who they are?" A seasoned reporter to the left of the stage called out.
"All I can tell you is that market research has provided evidence that our constituents are more inclined to find favor with a variety of internationally accepted delivery personnel," Peter left the answer open ended.
"Follow-up please," the reporter called. "Correct me if I’m wrong, but it almost sounded as if you are suggesting that Easter eggs be delivered by those unassociated with the rabbit family."
The crowd of reporters buzzed at this insinuation as cameras zoomed in on Mr. Cotton-Tail who waited a long moment before answering, "This is true."
The crowd smoldered as if spontaneously combusting, "However, the reason for this change in policy had everything to do with a successful marketing campaign by an international chocolate egg firm that in recent years featured a variety of animals pretending to be rabbits. It seems that the audience bought into the notion that eggs could be delivered by beings other than rabbits so, among others, we will have a lion, llama and beaver delivering eggs this year."
"What about chickens?" a reporter called over the crowd.
Everyone turned to stare in disgust at the reporter.
"We thought this might be a little insensitive due to the fact that the eggs in question might be perceived as future relatives and might put a damper on the delivery efforts," Peter said diplomatically.
"Now, baskets filled with samples of the new line of products are on display here at the front. Feel free to take a look – and thank you for coming." With that Peter glanced quickly at Bunny and backed away from the podium leaving the stage as reporters rushed to get shots of the latest in egg making skill and elaborate marketing plans.
"Miss McBride," the mic checking goon said as he approached, "please follow me."
Bunny was escorted backstage where she met a beaming Peter, a preacher, her family and a few friends. The ceremony was short and to the point, Bunny McBride became Mrs. Cotton-Tail on the eve of the world’s largest Easter delivery of eggs by animals other than rabbits. She couldn‘t have been happier.
"You may kiss the Bunny," the preacher said as he pronounced them rabbit and wife. She wanted to keep the feelings she had for Peter in those special first moments of marriage – but she still had a story to write.
After some thought she decided to attempt to explain how the date for Easter is decided and she’d attempt to do so in a way that an average person could understand. On second thought, perhaps she could call her boss and let him know of the recently completed nuptials and allow someone else to write a different story.
Glenn Hascall is a twice-published author, avid amateur photographer and a happy Papa and Hubby. He is the Director of Christian Media, Inc, and in his spare time, he sleeps. To find out more about his ministries, visit http://www.kcmi.cc
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