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HeavenKlutzy Betzy
By Amy Michelle Wiley

Bee-bee-bee-beep!

Betzy slapped the snooze button and stuck her pillow over her head. Then suddenly she sat up. Today was January first; a new year. Despite her few hours of sleep, she would get up early and start the year right!

Stumbling over a pile of dirty clothes in the middle of the floor, Betzy sighed and kicked them aside. She reached the bathroom door and stopped short. Marching back to the clothes, she scooped them up and tossed them into the hamper. Grinning, she returned to the bathroom. Already she was doing things differently.

Betzy resolved that this year there would be no more desperate scrambling around or being late to everything, leaving a path of destruction in her wake. No more messy bedrooms full of things to trip over and no more dropped curling irons in full sinks. When she was young she had been called Klutzy Betzy – but not anymore! This year she would plan ahead, get up on time, and do things thoughtfully and thoroughly.

Betzy stepped into the shower and reached for the bar of soap. It wasn’t there. Only a tiny sliver stared at her from the ledge. Betzy scowled. "Martin? Martin!" No answer from that husband of hers. "Martin!"

The door banged open. "What’s the matter?"

"There’s no soap in here."

Martin groaned. "Betzy, we went to bed at two o’clock in the morning. It’s a holiday. Why are you up so early and why are you hollering at this time of morning?!"

"Well," she said smugly, "if you hadn’t used all the soap and not replaced it, then I wouldn’t have to holler."

"There was still soap left when I took a shower yesterday morning. You took a shower last night." He thrust a bar of soap through the curtain.

"Oh." Betzy took the new bar and offered a chagrined, "Sorry."

The bathroom door slammed shut.

Why was she taking a shower now if she had taken one the night before? Oh well, she was all wet now; she might as well finish. Besides, there was nothing as refreshing as a shower to start the day out right!

Betzy dressed and decided that she would make a big breakfast for the family. She pulled out a frying pan and a carton of eggs. Somehow she lost hold of the first egg and it fell into the pan with a crack. With dismay, she grabbed a fork and began fishing the shells out – only the egg was already starting to cook in places. By the time she finished, the egg was a lumpy mess.

Shrugging, she added more eggs to the pan.

While the eggs cooked, Betzy decided to start her New Year’s resolutions list:

1. No snooze button
2. Plan ahead
3. No yelling
4. Focus on one thing at a time

All of a sudden she smelled something odd and dashed to the stove. The first egg was now black in spots, and the others were brown and kind of crispy. She added to her list:

5. Do not burn meals.

Then she underlined number four.

As she was spicing the eggs, the pepper shaker bounced out of the cupboard and rolled across the floor, leaving a trail of black flakes. Staring at the floor, still sticky from last night’s party, Betzy decided to pick up the shaker and wipe it off as soon as she was finished making breakfast.

She shoved some bread into the toaster oven and was cutting fresh fruit when her kids, still in their pajamas, wandered down for breakfast.

"Here you go!" she beamed. "I made breakfast."

Johnny peered at the plate of eggs. "Mom, what’s the matter with them?"

"Um, I kind of had a problem. But I’m sure they’ll taste fine...and I cut some fruit!" she added brightly.

Johnny poked at the lumpy egg. "There’s shell in it."

"I think I’ll just have some toast," Ann offered, edging away from the eggs.

"Toast! Oh, no!" Betzy rushed for the toaster. As she did, she stepped on the pepper shaker and – whomp – found herself on the floor, gasping in pain.

As Betzy sat holding her sprained ankle, listening to the smoke alarm screaming over the burnt toast, she sighed. Oh, yes, it was going to be a great year.

A man may make great plans, but without God they will not succeed.

AMY WILEY is a homeschool graduate and lives in the Pacific Northwest, finding no end of inspiration in that beautiful countryside. Although Amy admits that she has been "playing around" with writing all her life, this year she has seriously dedicated herself to it. As a result, Amy has had a number of short stories published and is currently working on her first novel. Amy believes that fiction is a powerful way to reach people with the truth and love of God, and achieving this through her writing is her greatest motivation. Amy also has a heart for the Deaf and is working towards gaining a sign language interpreter’s license. You can write to Amy care of the Letters page of this magazine.