One Starry Night
By David Ian
The holiday season brings holiday dramas. This script is designed to be performed with no costumes, props or set. Nothing should suggest at the start that our performers are sheep. The audience is to discover details as they are revealed piecemeal.
Someone asked me about sheep in biblical times having unions and spouting opinions about the musical "Cats". My response was, "Look, if you are willing to suspend your disbelief that sheep can talk, I don’t think the rest is a much of a stretch."
Besides, who’s to say they don’t have unions….?
CHARACTERS (Either gender. Substitute names if switched)
Sheep #1: NEVILLE
Sheep #2: NIGEL
Sheep #3: TRAVIS
AT RISE: NEVILLE and NIGEL are DC looking out towards the audience.
NEVILLE: Well, here we are.
NEVILLE: And there they go.
NEVILLE: Did any of ‘em stay behind?
NEVILLE: Just ran off, did they?
NEVILLE: Left us to fend for ourselves.
NEVILLE: Just to wander around all alone.
NEVILLE: No one to defend us from predators.
NIGEL: (pause) Nope.
NEVILLE: ‘Spose it could be worse.
NEVILLE: (concerned) I assume they’re coming back sometime, don’t you think?
NIGEL: (long pause) Yep.
TRAVIS: Hey Neville.
NEVILLE: Hey Travis.
TRAVIS: You okay, Nigel?
TRAVIS: Looks like we got stranded up here while they all went running off downtown.
NEVILLE: How about that, huh?
TRAVIS: You know, it’d serve ‘em right if we all just got up and scattered around this hillside.
NEVILLE: (snorts) It’d take ‘em weeks to find us all.
TRAVIS: Assuming we’d want to be found.
TRAVIS: Oh! There goes Henry again.
TRAVIS: Henry! Over here!
TRAVIS: Dumb sheep. Mark my words, he’ll get lost again.
NEVILLE: Yeah, then the shepherd’s gonna leave us to go and find him.
TRAVIS: Happens every time.
NEVILLE: There’s a lesson in there, somewhere, I think.
NEVILLE: Maybe we ought to bring it up at our next union meeting, do you think?
TRAVIS: Yeah. (pause) How’s everyone else taking it?
NEVILLE: As good as can be expected, I suppose. They’re a little frightened and confused mostly, but it’s dark, so everyone’s just pretty much settling in for the evening.
TRAVIS: Confused? I should think so! Did you get a look at that floor show in the sky? WOW!
NEVILLE: Yeah, that was pretty spectacular.
TRAVIS: I mean, the whole heavenly host right in front of us, that was something else!
NEVILLE: Can’t get anything like that in downtown Bethlehem, noooo sir.
TRAVIS: Much better than Phantom of the Opera or Cats.
NEVILLE: (mutters) Yeah, THAT one’s overrated.
TRAVIS: (confused) Did you catch everything that lead guy said?
NEVILLE: Not really. I mean, Gladys just kept carrying on, so I couldn’t make out a word. All I heard was "Fear not" and then it was just hysterics from then on out.
TRAVIS: But what a closing number, eh? "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."
NEVILLE: Very inspiring!
TRAVIS: Can hardly blame the shepherds for running off and seeing what it was all about. Looking for an encore, I’d imagine.
NEVILLE: Wish we could have gone along. Would have been nice.
TRAVIS: Well, come on, let’s go join the others. I guess that‘s what we’re best at.
(NEVILLE and TRAVIS turn to go off)
NEVILLE: --Figures it all had to do with Men. I mean, wouldn’t it be nice to have some grand announcement for sheep every now and then.
TRAVIS: Yeah, "grand announcement about sheep". That’ll be the day!
(They are almost off)
NIGEL: Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.
NEVILLE: Nigel? Did you say something?
NIGEL: (pause) Nope.
(NEVILLE: & TRAVIS exit, lights down on NIGEL)
David Ian is the Founder and Artistic Director of "Unchained Productions", a Christian theatrical production and resource organization. He is an award-winning playwright and performer, and despite having no kids of his own, he is touring a one-man comedy show entitled "The Replacement Disciple". His website can be found at www.UnchainedProductions.com.
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